Ben Carson is a fire hose of awful

I said I was done posting about Ben Carson today. I lied. This guy is too much. I can’t keep up.

It wasn’t enough for Carson to say that same-sex marriage is like forcing car seat manufacturers to make all of their seats accessible for conjoined twins. And it wasn’t enough that he has no idea what the debt ceiling is. In the span of less than two days, Carson has gone beyond those two would-be gaffes to make at least five comments that should be putting his campaign on life support, were it not for the fact that his base loves them. Here are the other three:

First up: guns. Perhaps worried about whether he lost his competition with Bobby Jindal for who could say the worst thing following last week’s Roseburg, Oregon shooting, Carson doubled down. Not only would he organize a counterattack in the event that he found himself in the midst of a mass shooting, he knows he’d handle the pressure well because he’s faced down the barrel of a gun before. And how did he react? He told the gunman to shoot someone else. As he said, quoted by TalkingPointsMemo:

“I have had a gun held on me when I was in a Popeye’s,” Carson said, reportedly referring to a Baltimore location of the fast food chain.

“Guy comes in, puts the gun in my ribs,” he added. “And I just said, ‘I believe that you want the guy behind the counter.’”

“He said, ‘Oh, OK.'”

What a hero.

Next, gays. Call Carson old fashioned, but he isn’t one for all of this New Age “equality” business. As he said, again from TalkingPointsMemo, not all lifestyles are created equal. That’s a fact, and we should just get used to it:

“We’ve got to stop paying attention to the PC police who say every lifestyle is exactly of the same value,” Carson responded. “No, it’s not of the same value. It is very clear that intact, traditional families with traditional, intact values do much better in terms of raising children. So let’s stop pretending that everything is of equal value.”

It’s worth noting that Carson didn’t just mean that The Gay Lifestyle is bad. If it were up to him, he’d rank-order every formulation of the family unit, starting at the top with man/woman/two kids/church on Sundays/straight-ticket Republican voting and working his way down from there. He didn’t say for sure whether he thinks it’s more morally objectionable to be gay or a single mom, but I think we can guess.

And let’s not forget the Holocaust. Never forget the Holocaust. Especially not how the whole thing could have been prevented if only the Jews in Germany had concealed-carry permits. As he told Wolf Blitzer, “The likelihood of Hitler being able to accomplish his goals would have been greatly diminished if the people had been armed.” When Blizter reminded Carson that Hitler had a rather large military — one that wouldn’t (and didn’t) have much difficulty systematically eliminating communities full of Jews — Carson was unfazed, reiterating: “I’m telling you that there’s a reason that these dictatorial people take guns first.”

It’s important to note that Carson’s insistence that gun control is just like Hitler is nothing new. He makes the claim so frequently, raising eyebrows each time, that even his own campaign manager has had enough:

When your own campaign manager calls Godwin on you, it’s time to slow down. That is, unless being a fire hose of offensive derp is working for you in the GOP primary. In which case, he has no reason to do anything other than carry on.

There’s still time left today for him to say something else that would set most presidential campaigns on fire. Stay tuned.


Jon Green graduated from Kenyon College with a B.A. in Political Science and high honors in Political Cognition. He worked as a field organizer for Congressman Tom Perriello in 2010 and a Regional Field Director for President Obama's re-election campaign in 2012. Jon writes on a number of topics, but pays especially close attention to elections, religion and political cognition. Follow him on Twitter at @_Jon_Green, and on Google+. .

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23 Responses to “Ben Carson is a fire hose of awful”

  1. Diane says:

    So that means that a devout father that beats his wife into ‘submitting to him’ and using the rod on his children is better for the kids because they are a “traditional families with traditional, intact values”?
    I think this man is auditioning to become a preacher, not POTUS.

  2. rwlorenz says:

    Perhaps Dr. Carson is a left-wing plant with the objective to demonstrate how much ignorance and stupidity the right-wing voters will accept. Or perhaps he is a right-wing nut case who is trying to demonstrate how much ignorance and stupidity the right-wing voters will accept. It really doesn’t matter; the response of the right-wing voters is the same.

  3. Opinionated Cat Lover says:

    Carson gets to say the horrible things he does without his campaign ending because, well, look who the front runner is! The stupid is strong with the GOP, from Trump on down.

    But enough about them. Team Blue needs to put a viable alternative against whatever clown is last to come out of the burning wreck that is the GOP clown car, and that means focusing on Team Blue’s candidates and ignoring Team Red until it’s time to pay them mind.

  4. 2karmanot says:

    Very true that!

  5. mf_roe says:

    Sir Issac Newton was a batshit crazy religious zealot incapable of maintaining interpersonal relationships. He was also a fabulously gifted analyst of physical phenomena and a mathematician of unsurpassed talent.

  6. 2karmanot says:

    Carson would offer up Olive Oil.

  7. 2karmanot says:

    Couldn’t agree more. The trickster gods are at play. What a sublime irony that one of the world’s greatest neurosurgeons is also a brain addled cretin.

  8. Indigo says:

    That’s an excellent point.

  9. zorbear says:

    Best response to this I’ve seen all day!!!
    :-D

  10. zorbear says:

    life is like a box of bibles…

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  12. rmthunter says:

    The really jaw-dropping thing about the Popeyes story is that Carson for some reason thinks that’s praise-worthy.

  13. DoverBill says:

    And all this time I thought him to be a blithering fucking idiot?

  14. crazymonkeylady says:

    ^ You win the Intertubes!!!

  15. BeccaM says:

    I think for a change, Carson was being honest when recounting the Popeye’s robbery. When faced with danger, he says, “Not me. Go for that other guy instead.”

  16. Thom Allen says:

    I think the same of Carson’s “Popeye’s” debacle. Not only does he beg for his life, he offers up someone else (the counterman) as a victim for the robber to shoot. I would be mortified to have done something like that. But he seems to think that it’s OK.

    There are several things wrong with his thought processes.

  17. BeccaM says:

    Typical wingnut fantasy:

    A couple guys in Nazi uniforms walk up to a Jewish homeowner’s house or apartment and knock. Jewish guy answers and asks what’s going on. The Nazis give an order to go downstairs and get in a truck to be taken away from a concentration camp. Jewish guy refuses and brandishes a handgun or shotgun, thereby making the Nazis go away forever.”

    The reality:

    A large squad of Nazis roll up, armed with dogs and machine guns. Anybody who resists the shouted orders to get into the trucks is beaten half to death or simply shot on the spot, particularly if they show a weapon of any sort. All signs of organized resistance are suppressed violently. The End.

    Re: Gay people: Assigning ‘value’ to people is pretty much step one in eliminationist rhetoric. Thereby suggesting Carson’s constant obsession with Nazis and Hitler is actually projection.

    And as for his story about the Popeyes robbery: Carson confirms what most of us already have concluded, that he’s a pants-crapping coward who just likes to talk big. Reminds me of Hudson from Aliens II, who was all bluster and swagger until the Xenomorphs showed up, at which point he collapsed into a spittle-spewing mess. (I know, Hudson kind of redeems himself later, but everybody remembers his “Game over, man! GAME OVER!” rant.)

    More likely Carson:

  18. goulo says:

    At Popeye’s, the gunman should have put his gun into Carson’s spinach.

  19. JaneE says:

    But in order to go back to your ideal “intact, traditional” family, you have to start paying wages that will allow one worker to support 3 or 4 people. In a home, with clothes to wear and food for three meals a day. Sorry Ben, but your party has worked very hard over the last 40 years to make sure that those wages no longer exist.

  20. MoonDragon says:

    Every person I know who’s had life issues has been raised in a family with heterosexual parents.

  21. nicho says:

    Godwin’s so-called law is a joke and should be treated as such. It is sometimes apt to make comparisons between what happened in Germany, leading up to the Holocaust, and other situations where people are preying on a frightened and “powerless” citizenry, using using propaganda and strong-arm tactics to take over the country. As terrible as the Holocaust was, the Third Reich was about much more than that, and we would be wise to learn from what happened.

    But, if you’re going to make the comparison, you should know what the frack you’re talking about, which Carson clearly doesn’t. There is no relation between gun ownership in Weimar Germany and early Nazi Germany and the subsequent genocide.

  22. Indigo says:

    Stupid is as stupid does.

  23. nicho says:

    “Guy comes in, puts the gun in my ribs,” he added. “And I just said, ‘I believe that you want the guy behind the counter.’”

    You know that’s a lie because Popeye’s doesn’t sell ribs. And why would someone stick a gun in your ribs. They would make it all sticky.

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