Anyone want to read the First Amendment to Donald Trump?

Donald Trump drew his sword in the War on Christmas yesterday, suggesting that consumers boycott Starbucks — even the very successful Starbucks in Trump Tower — over their slightly-less-Christmasy to-go cups that have send the conservative corners of the Internet into a frenzy.

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He also made sure to declare to all who would listen that, “If I become president, we’re all going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again. That I can tell you. That I can tell you!”

Which leads one to wonder: How?

Donald Trump, via iprimages / Flickr

Donald Trump, via iprimages / Flickr

Far be it from me to assume that Donald Trump has read the Constitution, or that his supporters understand the concept of free speech, how exactly does Donald Trump propose to Make Christmas Great Again? Will he pass a law giving tax incentives to companies that score high on the Faith Equality Index? Will he issue a presidential proclamation declaring November and December “Merry Christmas Months”? Will he — gulp — pass a government regulation using the federal bureaucracy?

Seriously, how do you get from point A to point B on this?

Because from what I can tell, Donald Trump seems to think that, simply by dint of his charisma and God-given grace, America will magically undergo a cultural transformation back to a simpler, better time — a time in which no one would think not to say “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays” because they’d get deported back to wherever they came from. And his supporters seem to be going right along with it.

Bear in mind, these are the same people who think it’s positively horrific that University of Missouri football players went on strike in protest of the university’s president passively allowing a morbidly racist culture to fester on campus. Political correctness gone too far! they cry, on their way to Starbucks to snidely tell their barista that their name is “Merry Christmas.”

Because someone has to win the month of November.


Jon Green graduated from Kenyon College with a B.A. in Political Science and high honors in Political Cognition. He worked as a field organizer for Congressman Tom Perriello in 2010 and a Regional Field Director for President Obama's re-election campaign in 2012. Jon writes on a number of topics, but pays especially close attention to elections, religion and political cognition. Follow him on Twitter at @_Jon_Green, and on Google+. .

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21 Responses to “Anyone want to read the First Amendment to Donald Trump?”

  1. John B. says:

    This whole ‘war against Christmas’ thing is such a waste of time, meant as a distraction from real issues facing this country, All he (and others claiming this war) are doing is playing to the radical Christian base that supports them. So unimportant to be wasting time of a non-issue instead of addressing real issues that effect everyone in America.

  2. So sorry! Would you like a double-tall, 1/2 caff, 2 and 1/17ths pumps skinny Blonde Caffè Caramel Macchiato with 7 sugars and 4 ice cubes (stirred, not shaken) to go with your whine?

  3. The_Fixer says:

    There’s a mathematical relationship here. The lower Trump’s poll numbers go with respect to Carson’s, the greater chance of The Donald lobbing some kind of verbal bomb in public. It’s Red Meat for the yokels he’s trying to romance.

    This is nothing more than attention-getting and bullshit, two staples of Trump’s existence.

  4. FLL says:

    This is the guy who launched an exploratory presidential campaign in 2000 that lasted only one or two months. So what magazine does he choose to give an interview with? Christianity Today. Oh, that’s right, it was a February 2000 interview with The Advocate touting his support of gay rights. WTF? Who knows what this character is up to.

  5. BeccaM says:

    Could be both.

    Ben Carson is just plain nuts and has no clue what he’s actually running to be. If he were to win the presidency, he’d most likely be a total figurehead, led by the hand by whomever manages to flatter and fluff him sufficiently.

    Trump, on the other hand, seems to want to be America’s CEO-Autocrat-for-Life, who will patronize and pander to whoever he thinks can put him there. Every time he trots out his “What’s my favorite book? THE BIBLE!” line, I truly do think in the back of his mind he’s laughing derisively at anybody stupid enough to believe him.

  6. FLL says:

    Is Trump proto-fascist or is he just cynically mocking fundamentalist Christians without them really catching on? I’m not sure which it is yet.

  7. BeccaM says:

    I know many think this is just stupid and/or funny, but lest we forget, Donald Trump isn’t running to be President. He wants to be elected right now and seems to believe elections need not be bound by the Constitution or any thing else.

    http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/aug/22/i-want-the-election-to-be-held-tomorrow-donald-trump-tells-alabama-rally

    “We could make a call for an expedited election,” Trump told the rally in Mobile. “I would like to have the election tomorrow – I don’t want to wait.”

    Why do I reach this conclusion? Because a guy who thinks the elections schedule can be changed at his whim would show no compunction at delaying or canceling them altogether, once he had the power to do so by fiat.

  8. mf_roe says:

    The Donald don’t see himself as a petty dictator, “HAIL” him as a Roman God!

  9. nicho says:

    But only between Thanksgiving and New Year. The rest of the time, it will be “Heil Donald.”

  10. nicho says:

    I didn’t know they had this. Is this on their “secret menu?” I like to go out for Christmas dinner and order Rack of Lamb of God.

  11. newsriffs says:

    Every day will begin with the salute and a hearty “Merry Christmas!”

  12. mf_roe says:

    The declaration that religious faith shall be unpunished does not give immunity to criminal acts dictated by religious error.

    — Thomas Jefferson, to James Madison, 1788. ME 7:98

  13. therling says:

    When I become president, all songs about Christmas trees will be sung in the original medieval German.

  14. JaneE says:

    There is no legal way to do most of the things Trump has promised to do, from expelling all the bad immigrants on day one to forcing Mexico to pay for a wall. Now everyone will say Merry Christmas. I really don’t want to think about how he will try to make these things happen if he is elected. It looks too much like the totalitarian regimes of the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. With the economy of the banana republics from the same era.

  15. mf_roe says:

    Hey, back off the coal carrier, anonymous gifts were the only decent thing about “Christmas”.

  16. 2karmanot says:

    This time of the year I always order a Soy, Macchiato Blood of the Lamb, no foam.

  17. 2karmanot says:

    The War on Christmas should begin by nailing Santa to the cross.

  18. mf_roe says:

    Jesus was an anchor baby

  19. timncguy says:

    how weak must these Christians own faith be if they need the entire community to validate it for them on a daily basis !!!!

  20. emjayay says:

    This is beyond stupid. Last year’s Starbucks Christmas coffee cup had abstracted snowflakes (winter soltice! Landing strip for Santa’s sleigh!) and Christmas tree ornaments (also winter solstice). No nativity scenes or baby Jesuses or Wise Men.

    These people seem to think that all the exisiting middle European winter solstice customs glommed onto by Christians are all about Baby Jesus.

    In other news: eggs, baby chicks, and rabbits. Not actually representing the Risen Christ. Might possibly be about springtime fertility.

  21. nicho says:

    When I go into *Bucks now, I tell them my name is “Christmas sucks.” Then, when the baristas finish my drink, they have to shout “Christmas sucks, Christmas sucks.”

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