“Ted Cruz & masturbation are not things you can take lightly”

Family-values conservative Ted Cruz is embroiled in a Twitter sex scandal, while the nation reels from the after-effects of the second major hurricane to hit the US in the past month.

In today’s podcast, Cliff Schecter and John Aravosis discuss the Cruz scandal (2:30), Seb Gorka’s oddly-timed visit to Israel (8:19), Breitbart’s fury over Trump refusing to say “radical Islamic terrorism” (12:00), Steve Bannon’s “60 Minutes” attack on Hillary Clinton (16:46), Ted Cruz’s “safe word” (23:04), the recent spate of Republican retirements and whether they’ll help Democrats take back the Congress in 2018 (23:32), and climate change’s role in Hurricanes Irma and Harvey (49:16).

Ted Cruz

Conservative GOP Senator Ted Cruz.

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Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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17 Responses to ““Ted Cruz & masturbation are not things you can take lightly””

  1. Dover Bill says:

    Like I said child, I presume you know where the collection box is located?

  2. blueeyedcuban says:

    “Please father, May I have another whack at it?”

  3. blueeyedcuban says:

    If your Uncle Jack was stranded on a roof, what would you do to help him?

  4. URstandingwhere says:

    What’s a jackoff to do?

  5. Dover Bill says:

    “Bless me father, for I have sinned.”

    “It has been 17 years since my… my last confession… gulp…”

    “Go on, son.”

    “Porn makes me touch myself.”

    “It’s the devil getting in my pants again and I’m not strong enough to fight him.”

    “Do you only just touch yourself or do you also rub, my child?”

    “How did you know?”

    “From your face.”

    “Is that all”

    “For now, father.”

    “That’ll be… ummm 117 Our Fathers and 322 Hail Marys unless, or course, you wish to leave a substantial donation upon your egress from this house of God in which case 1 Glory Be. should suffice as God forgives us all…. even scum like you.”

    “Till next time, dude. I’m outta here.”

  6. Demosthenes says:

    If you feel repulsed on a molecular level after seeing the video, it’s Senator Cruz.

  7. Demosthenes says:

    To all non Greeks: “malaka” has two meanings in Modern Greek. The colloquial one is jerk although many young Greeks say it a lot almost as a form of an endearing insult). The literal meaning is a male act of self enjoyment.

    Don’t ban me John!!!

  8. Zorba says:

    Looking at the nose and the lips, it certainly looks like him, but I don’t think we know for sure.
    (And it certainly sounds like something he would say, doesn’t it?)

  9. I saw that before, do we know for sure that it’s him?

  10. Zorba says:

    LOL! Cruz sure is a malaka, isn’t he? And I doubt that John minds you calling Cruz one.
    Should we tell the non-Greeks here what it means, or do you think they’ve figured it out?
    ????

  11. NotConvinced says:

    Republican men want to know his sign of the zodiac. He seems lonely. They might be compatible.

  12. NotConvinced says:

    Ted is so ashamed of this he’s had to wrestle with his every night.

  13. UncleBucky says:

    Imagine this kid on the bunk below you doing it…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt-vG_TdOT4

  14. Demosthenes says:

    “Ted” Cruz is not only accurately referred to in the colloquial sense as a “malaka”, but he is in fact literally a “malaka”.

    John A — I just couldn’t resist. Forgive me; I am weak.

  15. Demosthenes says:

    Awww, poor Lyin’ Ted. Not only is he the zodiac killer, the son of one of John Kennedy’s assassins, a big jerk, but now this.

  16. basenjilover says:

    ha ha ha “serious application of brain bleach”…. you got that right!

  17. Zorba says:

    Just thinking about Ted Cruz doing anything sexual, whether to himself, with his wife, or whoever, requires a serious application of brain bleach.
    This person (and I use the term loosely) is one of the most disgusting, self-righteous, hypocritical slime bags in politics today.
    None of his colleagues like him, even the other Republicans.

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