Will GOP’s Carl DeMaio confirm he’s never used “bullying pejorative gay slur” term “Mary” ?

Republicans are trying to gin up support for anti-gay gay congressional hopeful Carl DeMaio by gay-baiting the gay community.

It’s a tactic DeMaio has used before when targeting Republican primary opponents who are pro-gay.  DeMaio, who brags about his support among the gay-hating religious right, seems to be trying to bolster his credentials among the virulently anti-gay GOP base.

In DeMaio’s latest attempt to gaybait his own community, GOP operatives are claiming that my use of the gay slang term “Mary,” when writing about DeMaio, constitutes “bullying” of DeMaio because “Mary” is, according to the Log Cabin Republicans, a “pejorative gay slur.”

The only problem is that DeMaio’s surrogate on Twitter is refusing to confirm that DeMaio himself has never used the “slur.”

Bloody Mary via Shutterstock

No Bloody Marys were bullied in the making of this pun. (Via Shutterstock)

Let’s put aside for a moment the fact that “Mary” isn’t a slur at all, nor is it a word that’s ever used by homophobes against gay people.

And let’s put aside the fact that usually it’s Republicans who are decrying the “thought police” who want to regulate our ever word.

Let’s put all of that aside, and accept, arguendo (which means, just for argument’s sake), that the Log Cabin Republicans (a front-group for anti-gay Republicans) are correct, and that “Mary” is a “pejorative gay slur.”

Then Carl DeMaio and his life partner Jonathan Hale will have no problem coming forward and confirming that neither has ever used the “bullying” and “pejorative gay slur” term “Mary,” nor have they ever tolerated the use of the word in their presence.

A request for comment is in to Hale, who is acting as DeMaio’s surrogate on Twitter, and who contacted me first about my earlier article. At least initially, Hale is refusing to answer the simple yes-or-no question:


And the same confirmation request goes to the the Log Cabin Republicans: No one in the Log Cabin leadership has ever used the “pejorative gay slur” “Mary”?

If “Mary” is truly a “pejorative gay slur” that is so bad it’s tantamount to “bullying,” the Carl DeMaio, Jonathan Hale, and the Log Cabin Republicans should have no problem confirming that none of them have ever used the term, or contenanced it in their presence.

We await your response.

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CyberDisobedience on Substack | @aravosis | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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45 Responses to “Will GOP’s Carl DeMaio confirm he’s never used “bullying pejorative gay slur” term “Mary” ?”

  1. rerutle, Mother of Pearl, you are correct.

  2. rerutled says:

    They’re obviously ignorant that “Mary” isn’t a proper noun — nobody is being called “Mary” — it’s an exclamation, like “Wow!” or “Good Heavens!”

  3. What next…pearl clutcher? Mary…MA-RY!!! (a shout out to DataLoungers)

  4. Polterguest says:

    I think you’re confusing this blog with JoeMyGod. Get back to us when you’ve climbed out of the k-hole, Mary.

  5. 4th Turning says:

    Coffee break time.


  6. Strepsi says:

    Methinks girlfriend thinks she’s on “Joe My God” blog. Oh, Mary!

  7. Kurt Cunningham says:

    Yeah, what Eric said :-)

  8. Kurt Cunningham says:

    Well I do know that Carl DeMaio has snorted like a pig at me at a community event, and made fun of me because I was on food stamps at one time. The use of the word “Mary” is probably one of the least hurtful things Hale or DeMaio may have ever said. In all honesty within our community I dont see the word Mary as a negative word. If its used towards us by someone outside our community thats different.

  9. erma652 says:

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    Lincoln MKS Sedan by working part time off of a laptop. have a peek here C­a­s­h­D­u­t­i­e­s­.­ℂ­o­m

  10. Luke James says:

    in a world were some anti gays have untold funds to waist , it was only a matter of time till we saw a homosexual uncle tom step up and claim the prize

  11. 1jetpackangel says:

    In the words of the ancient philosophers, “he who smelt it dealt it.”

  12. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    I have a slight disagreement here. We have a local restaurant that adds a jalapeño stuffed olive. The first time, I approached it with trepidation, but now I expect them. Talk about a wake me up!

  13. Butch1 says:

    Time to cut him off. “Last call!” ;-)

  14. 2karmanot says:

    Isn’t that special.

  15. PeteWa says:

    calling someone Mary is the same as heckling, something you seem proud of having done – it’s mocking behavior.
    you make very little sense.
    you are worthy of being mocked yourself.
    only a dolt would consider that mockery to be bullying.
    are you that doltish?

  16. They only are about us when it doesn’t count :)

  17. Thom Allen says:

    I believe “Mai” is Chinese for “Mary.” ;-)

  18. Thom Allen says:

    Do you think that ” . . . I had a brief LAPSE in SANITY and met Valdemaio and almost went yo work at SDGLN but.my friends staged an INTERVENTION.” some of those words might indicate that you’re right?

  19. BeccaM says:

    Maybe Joe is the name of the cute waiter keeping his Mai Tai filled to the brim at all times…

  20. Butch1 says:

    Who’s Joe?

  21. TonyT says:

    Feeling bullied for being called Mary? Geeesh, he must be gay! :-)

  22. RMNCB says:

    It’s pretty hilarious. Breitbart has the story up and all the posters have found some kind of new sensitivity towards gays. The cognitive dissonance is incredible.


  23. gratuitous says:

    Yes, all those nancy boys.

    Ah, shit. Sorry, Aravosis!

  24. oikos says:

    that was my first thought- a drunken rant

  25. BeccaM says:

    Y’know, that wall of barely punctuated remonstration makes no sense whatsoever. It almost reads like you started drinking way too early in the day, I’m sorry to say.

  26. oikos says:

    again? Who’s Joe? Do you think you are on JMG? Get your bearings Mary.

  27. oikos says:

    Mary, I mean Carl is a kapo

  28. Maybe. I mean they did support Ashcroft. And Romney.

  29. Thom Allen says:

    ” . . . all the he-man rugged individualists our nation has ever had, now has, or ever will have are Republicans.” You mean all of the manly Republicans who successfully dodged the draft? The ones who went on religious missions to dangerous places like France that were just like serving combat missions in the military? The ones who frequently escape to the wild to shoot attorneys in the faces to prove how manly they are? All the Republican 1%ers who live in those rough-hewn 60 room shacks with attached 10 room servants’ quarters?

  30. Thom Allen says:

    Is this “Joe” you keep referring to Mary’s husband? And does Jesus come along later?

  31. Moderator4 says:

    To whom are you responding?
    There is no “Joe” here who has anything to do with this blog, or who is deleting comments, or anything like that.

  32. Eric Hufford says:

    Himm, let me try this again. I guess Joe runs the show here like Hale at SDGLN deleting peole that directly oppose him… Maybe you three should go on a date… I can set it up. Look Joe unless you’ve never used a put down like queen Mary bottom or girl you shouldn’t cast stones. If any thing his use of Mary shows he’s out of touch with the youth another GOP issue. I’ve known Hale for close to 10 years I had to be his assistant for his brief tenure at the Gay amd Lesbian Times. In 2009, I had a brief lapse in sanity and met Valdemaio and almost went yo work at SDGLN but.my friends staged an intervention. I was the first loudest and main heckler at the SD LGBT Mayoral Forum of 2012, that’s me you hear un the Nathan Fletcher video calling him a liar. My friend Kurt Cunningham another community member Jase Watson and myself ran Turn Your Back On Demaio at the SD Pride Parade of 2013 which caused him to hw booed, I posted daily to the invite un the run up to the election the Facebook evite all of the reasons LGBT shouldn’t support him, got tons of hate mail from anonymous emails (probably Hale)for my efforts. There are tons and tons of things wrong. This isn’t one of them and you are helping his case. Find a real issue and I’m mad at you for forcing me to come to their defense.

  33. kingstonbears says:

    I bet they also use “Mo” a lot.

  34. Indigo says:

    Oh, snap!

  35. Indigo says:

    That’s Shutterstock for you.

  36. gratuitous says:

    Here I’ve been told for years that all the he-man rugged individualists our nation has ever had, now has, or ever will have are Republicans. Manly men, with manly characteristics, who stride the earth as latter-day colossi (colossuses?), dispatching lesser mortals with their manly manhood.

    Who knew the word “Mary” would turn out to be their kryptonite?

  37. BeccaM says:

    The annoying part is DeMaio makes it clear he will oppose absolutely everything the LGBT community cares about — and then expresses dismay over the LGBT community refusing to support him.

    Seems to be an endemic attitude among the Log Cabin GOPers…

  38. BeccaM says:

    Let’s face facts, John: The kind of people DeMaio, Hale and their friends hang out with wouldn’t use the word they say is a slur — ‘Mary.’

    Those folks like to use the F-word. As in ‘Fag.’ (Sometimes with ‘-got’ added for extra expletive emphasis).

    I’d like to know if DeMaio and Hale ever objected to a word that, when used by non-gays, is nearly always meant as a slur.

  39. BeccaM says:

    Aye… although there’s way too much vegetable additions in that photo above. A squeeze of lemon and a celery stalk is all that’s needed. ;-)

  40. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    I’m confused. I really want a Bloody Mary right now. I would even take a Virgin Mary.

    I can’t understand why anyone would think Mary is a slur, unless they think it has something to do with maricone.

  41. dcinsider says:

    Oh I get it, but the LC Repubs jumping in on this issue is even more hypocritical than they usually are.

  42. As I noted in the earlier post, this isn’t about slurs. STraight people, especially anti-gay conservatives, don’t know that Mary isn’t a slur. This is more of DeMaio gay-baiting his own community to convince the anti-gays that he’s really one of them. Hey, even the gays hate me, etc.

  43. dcinsider says:

    Good lord, calling someone Mary is in the Log Cabin Republicans’ constitution. I’m pretty sure it’s the required term in their bylaws when addressing a fellow member.

    “Mary has the floor.”
    “Thank you, Mary.”

  44. I’m feeling bullied.

  45. caphillprof says:

    Oh, Louise!

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